Growing up, my parents imparted a profound lesson that has stayed with me through the years.
My father, especially, often returned from intense meetings with acquaintances and friends, conversations held in hushed tones with my mother. As curious children, we occasionally eavesdropped, catching glimpses of misunderstandings and even discovering hidden letters containing hurtful words.
Despite these challenges, one thing stood out: my parents never spoke ill of anyone in our presence, no matter the grievances they faced. This was a powerful example for us, their children, to witness.
There were individuals among their circle who openly expressed disdain for our family, yet my parents steadfastly insisted that we continue to love, respect, and honour them. Some of these acquaintances distanced themselves from us over the years, even as my parents extended gestures of goodwill.
It wasn’t always easy to comply with their wishes. Sometimes, it felt like a difficult pill to swallow. Yet, our parents’ guidance prevailed, urging us to maintain connections and extend kindness, especially during holidays.
As we grew older, my siblings and I found ourselves forming genuine relationships with some of these very people, despite knowing they held different feelings towards our parents. We may not have been close, but we harboured no animosity towards them. It was simply the way we were raised – to uphold values of love and forgiveness.
Our parents reminded us continually that we were Christians first and foremost, and our actions should reflect that in every aspect of life. They never wanted us to inherit their conflicts or carry bitterness towards others.
Today, as a parent myself, I cherish the wisdom my parents instilled in us. I strive to pass on the same values of compassion and understanding to my own children.
Every family’s circumstances are unique, but I’ve learned that shielding children from adult conflicts can foster resilience and compassion. What matters most is not who was right or wrong in past disputes, but the enduring strength of love and forgiveness in building meaningful relationships.
In a world often marked by division, my parents’ lesson remains a guiding light: to choose love over resentment, and to honour others despite our differences.
